Starfall
by Vertus Vanderun
Summary: We enter the moment the sky falls. In the heat of the Final Battle, Riku - in fear of missing his chance - makes a heartfelt confession to Sora. But when the dust clears, Riku fears that he has ruined his friendships and created new problems. What will it take for Riku to see the brighter side of these feelings?
1. When I Told Him

**THE END**

 _We enter the moment the sky falls._

 _I_ _took a single breath, and the world snatched it away in a blast of starlight._

I float in nothing. This is nothing new, and like times before, I will leave this place to rejoin the ones I risk my life for. It's a simple process. I simply remember who I am, who I fight for, and where I was

This living place...the pulsing grounds, the smell of darkness fouler than the shadow that once plagued my heart...it's numbing. I don't know what will happen, what the outcome will be. For a brief moment, Braveheart trembles in my palm.

I am first to stir and regain my wind. The iron smell is potent unlike before. I try to reach out to Mickey, but I get nothing. Outside of smell, I can't detect anything else. For a moment, I think that I float in darkness again, but I come to. My body twitches, and everything has come back.

My eyes open to Kairi struggling to stand. The moment she gets there, she grimaces and collapses again. I help her get to a rock for balance.

"Where's…?" she starts, but sharply inhales. She reaches for her foot. "I...I can't feel it, Riku."

"Lea! Sora!" I call. "Kairi, stay out of sight." She ducks behind the boulder and I finally spot Lea helping Sora up. He takes a vial from his pouch and places it against Sora's mouth. The motion makes me double check my pockets to count the potions I have left. Five. Two elixirs, two potions, and one megalixir for everybody if we really need it.

I know they're nothing but adrenaline kicks, but seeing Sora liven up again from Lea's potion warms my heart just a little. He's alright. I watch as he sprints to Kairi's side, inspecting every inch of her to make sure she's okay. My smile widens. We all survived.

That makes four of our group...but did the others…avoid the explosion? A crack of thunder roars by the plateau. Bolts crash from the sky and illuminate the rest of us.

The Wayfinders are far ahead, buying the time we need after the hit we took. The light shapes her silhouette perfectly: Aqua leads the pack. She shields her comrades with one of the most impressive Reflegas I have ever seen. She follows it with a sparkling blast that launches nearly twenty shadows into the air, creating space on the front line. Terra and Ven follow behind her, finishing off the shadows and keeping the enemy occupied.

She is doing everything in her power to keep her friends intact and make the battle less formidable. I see so much of myself in her.

I still can't locate Mickey nor Donald and Goofy for that matter.

Sora catches my eye as he steps forward, holding his side. Despite the growing dread around us, he is all my eyes want to see. Everything slows around us. Another thunderbolt from Aqua splits the sky. Sora's Keyblade trembles in his own gloved hand.

"This is it!" Sora says, firm unlike his stance. He looks at me. "We're the only ones who can do this!"

I look back at Kairi to see how she's holding up. Half her leg is dark dark red and her boot is at a grotesque angle. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, another red streak appears. Her eyes are harder than I've ever seen.

No wonder Sora is shaken up…

I motion towards her, even for a bit of comfort before we move forward, but she waves me off.

" _GO!"_ she mouths to me, massaging her foot and keeping her breath steady. "I'm always with you."

I bring a fist to my chest and nod to her. My footsteps are light, cushioned by the soft ground. Sora twitches when I place my hand on his back. With teary eyes, he looks to me for guidance. That's how it was when we were kids, anyway. I was the prodigy, the endgame. The idea of it still puts a smile on my face.

He still doesn't understand how much I need him to feel the confidence in myself.  
 _Starting to wonder if he'll ever..._

"Where's Donald and Goofy?"

"I don't know. I can't find Mickey either. They would want us to keep moving. They need us up there."

Sora hangs his head. "Right. Are you ready, Riku?" he asks me. The crack in his voice is so subtle.

I pat his back and gaze upon the great cliffs before us. "It's now or never."

A beat. Truly, it was now or never.

Outside was a smile, but within me, in the deepest parts of my twilight heart, there was longing. Despite our extended time away from the island, the scent of him always brought me home to the sands and the surf. The crash of the waves against the shoreline, and the fizz left behind. The creak of wood from the towers we jumped across. The zipline over the trees…

His warm presence brought the feeling of home and safety. Sora swept away my despair and my fear of losing those most important. Sora was everything. _He_ is _everything_.

If I say nothing now, I could be lost and never get the chance again.

"Sora," I begin. I can't bring myself to make eye contact yet, but I feel that gentle warmth from him anyway. "It's amazing that wanting a raft brought us to this, huh?"

"Yeah," he says. "And after this, we should actually use one. Just for fun, anyway."

"I'd like that." I face him completely. "As long as I get to be with you."

Sora's grin is wide and stupid like it always is. My heart melts.

"Of course you will! You, me, and Kairi. We'll live the best years of our lives as Keyblade Masters! Come home, relax, and then see new places. It sounds like the beginning of something new."

Time is running out. I can feel it. I throw my hand over his and bring it to my chest. His expression changes when he feels my quickened heart rate. I close my eyes.

"Sora." I have to pause. The lump in my throat hurts. "I...know who is most important to you. I helped make sure your memories of Kairi woke you up. But with end coming, I need you to know what my heart is saying, and what I need to say to you."

He's confused. He doesn't get it.

"Riku-"

"I'm more than happy to call you my best friend," I interrupt. "I'd die for you, but you must know that through everything - Xemnas, the Sleeping Worlds - I've come to love you."

Sora squints at me. God, he's thick in the head.

"Riku?"

"Sora. I fight with you because I love you. It took me a while to hear the words forming my heart, but this pounding doesn't lie. It can't." A weight lifts and I feel so...light. " _You_ are my light. The one that's most important to me..." That's all I can do now. I start to walk away from him, breaking contact. His arm is slow to return to his side.

"Riku, why are you saying this to me now?" Sora asks as if we still have the time of day. As if on cue, another explosion erupts on the plateau before us. The Wayfinders need us.

"I needed to tell you at least once if this is how we're gonna go out."

I run towards the explosion. Thankfully, the immediacy of the situation hides my cowardice to hear any response from Sora. I know what the answer will be, but I let my heart feel fluttery. I said what I needed to, and the responsibility I put on myself is almost off.

Perhaps it was irresponsible to put even more conflict in his heart during the heat of battle, and with Kairi suffering nonetheless. A blast descends upon us. It's brief, but I remember falling like that once. Sora did too. With luck, he'll forgive me in the end. In our end.

 _Stars fall all over, but in their light, I will prevail._

* * *

 **TODAY**

 _We enter the moment the sky falls._

 _The sky - distraught - waits for the ocean to meet him._

Kairi remains in intensive care, stable.

Sora remains at her side, finally getting some sleep after everything.

I wait outside her room in a sling.

I left her a vase of flowers decorated with pink ribbons and a little pinwheel shaped like a paopu fruit. Some sentiment for that small likeness I had what seemed like ages ago. My hand touches the window, and while I'm so happy for these dorks and how much they adore each other, a part of me feels left out. Cast aside…

"Hey."

I flinch. Lea, decorated in his own slew of bandages, stands next to me all of a sudden. "Lea-"

"How's she doin'?" He's focused on the bed. Stern.

"They," I say, "had to take her foot."

"They what?" Lea raises an eyebrow. He leans into the window as if to see under Kairi's bedsheet. "What good is your guys' magic if you can't mend a foot? You didn't get that girl Aqua to help?"

"Once we got her boot off...uh...it was too late to reconnect and heal it."

Lea frowns. "Oh." He scratches his head. "Well a metal foot is as good as a magic one. Better, even. Huh, maybe she'll finally be at my level of cool."

I roll my eyes. "It could have been a lot worse."

Lea points to my arm sling, then to his neck brace. "No shit. We all could have died. And _not_ lose our hearts, I mean, kid. We could have actually died forever like those before us." He gives me a light shove, but it's enough to make me adjust my balance. "I'll be back. Make sure Sora's okay, too."

He leaves, and I'm thinking about Sora again instead of my own thoughts. A _lot_ of things happened during the War. I hoped he could forget anything I said and I would be left with saying what I needed. He heard me, and that is all I need.

When I look into the room again, Sora is awake. His eyes are right on me, and for the first time in my life, I can't read his expression. It feels blank, even his eyes. And the guilt sets in.

He leaves his chair, and I flee down the corridor. I can't face him. Not yet.

My heart brings too much to the surface and I won't think straight around him for some time. I refuse to vanish in their time of need, but my first move is to get advice. Help. Anything to stop the pounding.

 _Stars fall all over. I don't know how long I will last until I drown._


	2. Master to Master

_We enter the moment the sky falls._

 _A beacon of light shines on those who need her._

The sand chills my fingertips as I squish it in my palm. It sifts through my hand and clumps back together on the beach. The waves break before me and the salt smell grows. I close my eyes to listen to the water. What did they have to say to me? Can they teach me how to remain calm through everything?

 _The way he looked at me..._ my memory keeps that look of Sora visible. It felt alien. I did something wrong. I ruined my connection with him by trying to make it stronger than before. Stronger than even him and Kairi. I aggressively wipe my sandy hand on my pant and tuck my legs in. I haven't felt this conflicted since I felt left Destiny Islands. I bury my head into my arms.

"Huh, I didn't expect you to be here."

 _Aqua…_ I smile. "Hmph, I could say the same about you."

Her footsteps were faint before, but I hear their crunch in the sand. She sits next to me and her warmth extends to me. It relieves my heart, even just for a moment. Slowly, I lean into her until my head rests against her shoulder. She makes a sound of surprise, but I feel her arm wrap around me in comfort. I open my eyes to the ocean. Aqua's boots touch my feet as I feel her rub my uninjured arm.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

I look up to her. Her hair is moving with the sea breeze so elegantly. "I think I ruined all my friendships."

"What do you mean? I don't remember you doing anything to make _me_ think that." She squeezes me in a half hug. "Unless I'm not your friend."

I chuckle. "Of course you are. Sorry, I meant with the people who are the most important in my heart."

Aqua's expression is welcoming. Her bright blue eyes shine on me as if they need to know more. Ever since our bout in the Realm of Darkness, we mutually relied on each other to survive. She would know more than anyone on how to proceed. She and Mickey alone-

I jolt up from her hold. "Mickey!"

"He's okay," Aqua says.

"What? I couldn't sense his light during battle. Where did he go, Aqua? I need to see him, too."

Aqua laughs quietly and rests her palms in the sand. "He's off-world. Donald and Goofy are recovering at their castle. Her Highness is treating them."

My head hangs. "I can't believe I didn't think about him until now."

"You're conflicted," she says, shuffling in the sand. Her calloused hands take mine and I'm forced to look at her soft face. "Your expression says some, but your heart...it's erratic, Riku."

"It is," I admit. " _Lots_ on my mind."

In a rush, Aqua brings her arms around me, enveloping me in such a warmth, I haven't the faintest idea of what to do. Her hug tightens but not to a harsh degree. She isn't even asking what's going on but this is saying enough. She loves me, too. We vowed in that darkness to survive and we made it. We were a force together and nothing the other did would change our decision. Slowly, I return her hug.

"I'm sorry you feel this way," Aqua says. "I won't pester, but know that if you ever do want to tell me, I will be here for you, Riku. Terra and Ven mean the world to me, like Kairi and Sora to you. They are your light. Those who are connected to you won't sever their ties over one thing."

"Are you saying that cause you believe it, or just because it hasn't happened to you yet?" I joke.

She rescinds so that her hands grab my shoulders, though she's careful about my bad arm. "What in the world could you have done to make them think so differently of you?"

"I told Sora I loved him."

There's a beat. I thought this would change her feelings in some way, but her smile turned into a grin. "Riku, how in all the _worlds_ would that change what he and Kairi mean to you?"

"Kairi is what's most important to Sora. I was selfish and said what my heart had been telling me since our Mark of Mastery exam. I felt so much weight lift...it was cruel to do that to him. Putting him in the middle of Kairi and me. Unnecessarily splitting us apart."

Aqua looks down at the sand. "Oooh. I can see why you would feel something like this. Well, it if helps, it's good that there is some guilt."

"There is?"

Aqua puts her hands over her heart. "It shows you care about this, Riku. You aren't throwing out a statement and running from it."

I grimace. "But I am. I haven't talked to Sora since I said what I needed to. We've been watching over Kairi at the hospital on the main island." I feel my eyes starting to hurt. Tears want to come, but I won't allow it. I have to be strong about this.

Aqua stands, holds her hand out to me. "That's the problem. You need to see Sora. Whether it's good, bad, or nothing's changed at all, you need to confront what you said."

"Will that clear up why my heart hurts like this?"

"Have you never told anybody how you felt?" Aqua giggles. "Even just a crush in school?"

"No."

"Oh my god, Riku," she grabs my hand and hoists me to my feet. "This is what loves feels like. Once the hurt subsides, it can be the most beautiful thing in the universe."

"Is that how you feel about Terra?" I smile. Her face blushes bright red.

"Shut up!" She shoves me away hard. I laugh and grab her arms so she falls in the sand with me. We lay beside each other. Our hands interlace.

I watch the clouds drift. Two look like thalassa shells, another a simple swirl of purple-pink. The sun has started setting. Finally, my heart feels like it has calmed its own nerves. Aqua was right; if I didn't at least see through the things I said to Sora, I would never feel better. "Thank you, Aqua. For not judging me and helping me get a hold on my heart."

"From one Master to another," she says, squeezing my hand. "Heh, but that's what friends are for."

"Right," I nod.

"You should go find him. Get it taken care off before you let that stress settle in again." Aqua sits up and smiles at me.

Her light is just so powerful. At times, it used to be unnerving, but she's grown as much as I have in our final hours. She rises to a squat and plants a kiss on my forehead. Unexpected, but I let her do it. "Go get him, Riku!"

I'm slow to stand myself. "Will you still be around afterward?"

"Don't know. I may check on Mickey myself." She touches her chest. "But your heart will always reach me if you need me."

"May our hearts be our guiding key." I turn from her and start to leave.

"Oh yeah!" she calls back. "I came to tell you that there's a certain Princess who's awake now."

My face lights up. I nod again and exit the beach. The moment I'm out of range of Aqua's light, the uneasiness of my heart returns. But like Ansem, I can handle it and keep it at bay. I know what to do now, and the very second everything is over, I'll make my choice.

But for now, there's a friend I need to see.

* * *

Kairi's room was two rooms away when something felt...off.

From afar, I watch as Selphie leaves the room with a notebook cradled in her arm. She comes my way and stops herself briefly. I keep moving on my own mission, and I feel her gaze on me.

"Riku, hey-" she starts, but I pass her.

"Is Kairi awake, Selphie?"

"Yeah-"

"Thank you." I don't mean to sound blunt to her, but I have my own pressing matters. I approach her room and gazing through the window however briefly. Kairi's flower count has grown exponentially.

She sits solemnly, hands tapping a food tray on her knees. I know her eyes rest on her new foot. My heart sinks for her and that's when I have to open the door to see the rest of her room. I expect Sora to be sitting on the window sill to the outside, but I don't see him. Maybe taking a quick bathroom break or something.

"Riku."

Her voice is weak, eyes heavy, but her aura is as radiant as ever. The paopu pinwheel slows from a recent spin. She beckons me over and I sit at her right side. She takes my hand and squeezes it harder than I expected from how quiet she sounded.

"How are you, Kairi?"

"I'm...okay. I'm really glad Selphie stopped by."

I place her food tray on the table beside her. "I'm happy to see you eating, too. Your recovery is going well then?"

"Yeah, Lea is too. Told me to eat the pudding first. I feel good though, despite the whole...foot thing."

I chuckle. "Sorry, I'm late to the party."

Kairi smiles wide. "It's okay. I like your pinwheel, too, by the way."

"You got a lot of flowers. Which one of these bunches is Sora's?"

"Haven't seen it yet. Can't exactly leave my bed to check." She tilts her head. "Speaking of Sora, have you seen him? I thought he'd be here when I woke up."

 _What?_ He was here already. Didn't he just get up to grab more for her or something? "He's been with you through your recovery. He wasn't here when you woke up?"

"I have no idea where he is."

 _Stars fall all over. I can't manage them if one star is missing._


	3. This Small Island

_We enter the moment the sky falls._

 _The land can't reach the sky himself, but maybe his heart can._

"Riku, wait-"

I'm already at the door to her room. "He's _supposed_ to be here for you! He's so...thick in the head. He needs to get chewed out big time." My hand grabs the handle.

" _RIKU!_ " Kairi stresses, gripping her bedsheets. She grabs her stomach and falls against the mattress.

I clench my fist. I want to push on and find where Sora went. Kairi's heavy breaths shake me. I return to her side and touch her hand. It's amazing how even in the state she's in, Kairi's fills this room with a feeling that I can only describe as wonder. She never fought as often as we had, but in terms of mental strength, Kairi had far more than Sora and I ever will. The toughest Princess of all. She looks at me and tightens her fingers around my hand. I feel calmer.

"Don't be mad at him, please."

"And why shouldn't I be?" I ask with a smile.

She returns it. "Because he'll come back. He always will. Just like you."

Kairi holds so much optimism, but at the same time, she can't rightfully be upset about this. I nod to her and rise from my seat. "Well in any case, I'm going to find him. He needs to see you up and feeling well."

"If you have to be mad at him," Kairi laughs, "just don't beat the daylight out of him."

"Sora can handle me."

By the time I reached the exit of the hospital, all the rage that lingered in me had faded. Most of my anger did come from Kairi being left alone when she woke, but I also wanted to get my speaking with Sora situated. Perhaps my selfishness was what left me in that room..

"Riku?"

My name rings through my ears like a siren. _Oh no._

I turn. I see no one. Sora isn't here. Hell my heart is telling me that.

"Hey." Lea walks down the opposite side of the hall, eating a pudding. He says with the spoon in his mouth: "You look like you saw a ghost."

"I need to find Sora."

"Well if he isn't here I imagine he'd be home," Lea shrugs. "God have you tried these? Wow, it almost beats ice cream. _Almost_ being the keyword, heh."

I'm confused for a moment. "How many of those have you had?"

Lea freezes. "Uh…"

* * *

Every time I come back, the main island feels like it shrank another few feet. Every house is in its same place, same distance apart. Same coastlines, but it could be that I just feel bigger every time I return. It's a nice feeling, don't get me wrong. I can't blame Destiny Islands for being so small.

I walk down a rocky path where Keyhole Island lays in far off sight. I think we called it Play Island when we were younger and clearly experts on naming things. I resorted to Keyhole for obvious reasons; and despite always going back, I could feel the island not wanting me there. Until now.

I had spoken to Sora's mom, who had a number of grays in her hair since I last saw her the day before the world first fell to darkness. Sora was back on Keyhole, doing who knows what. Seems he never got the news that Kairi was awake.

I approach the shore. Take off my shoes, feel warm sand between my toes. The sand clumps as I get to the rising tide, and soon enough I have ocean water rushing past my ankles. Never when I was younger did I sit and appreciate this world and its charm. How gentle the waves always were? God, my mind melts down and stops thinking just to listen to them.

This wonderful little place showed me just what I could miss when I was away. I still enjoy traveling, but I've learned the error of my ways. Destiny Islands matters in this universe of ours, even if it's a small percentage.

A boat rows in to the pier, and eclipsing the sunset is - of course - the silhouette of spiky hair. There are flowers upon flowers filling his boat when Sora finally comes into view. He looks frantic.

My heart flutters, and while I feel I want to run, the ocean keeps me planted. Aqua's words float into my head. I take a deep breath and flawlessly play the cool friend.

Sora freezes with the flowers in his hands when he spots me. Again, he looks as if he doesn't know how to approach me. It...it almost hurts.

"Riku...I-"

"You're late." I manage to smile. "Kairi's pretty pissed with you."

He clenches his flowers. "Oh no!" He races off the pier, flowers falling behind him onto the cedarwood. I really don't think he knows how to switch off his goofiness.

He pauses for a moment and turns back to me. "Uh...Riku. About before…"

I feel it coming, so I close my eyes when I speak. I let my heart lift up. "I'll stay right here, Sora."

I turn back to him and I finally see his face fully in the sunset. I finally see an expression in his eyes, and they're worried. This is for Kairi of course, but at least he isn't looking at me like I've alienated him.

Though that's exactly what I did.

I feel dark emotion creeping in again, so I take another breath. "Go on, see Kairi and how she is. We can talk when you're done. That and your flowers are gonna start wilting if you don't get to her."

Sora blinks and makes his signature grin. "Right." He takes a step away. "I won't be too long."

"Take your time. See your light."

And like that he's gone.

 _Come back_ , my thoughts ring. I want this to be over, and I willingly gave myself more time alone with the ideas of what Sora is going to say to me. I let the worst case scenarios bother me until the countless stars appear in the sky.

"I'm going to hate this so much."

 _Stars fall all over. I won't look at the one coming to kill me._


End file.
